Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

waise ye munfarid silsila he jis mein har eik try karsakta he.Poori ghazal likhna tu ap jaise shaiyron ka he kam he.Sab ne umda girah lagai he,Shahdil sahib ka 2nd wala bhi acha shair he par is mein izafat izafi he.agar second thought mein shair acha lagta he tu sab loog meera shair second thought mein dekhein.lol.Aur ap ki girah mein sadgi mein bhi husn he.ab ke mein is micre par mizahia girah lagaon ga

zaroor ....zaroor....:salam:

[Gul]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

Assalam O alaikum

mein Chand ash`ar le k haazir hooN372-scare

Plz bata-eyay gaa ! teddy

jesay gul se milay hans k baad-e naseem
Yunhi mujh se milo muskaratay howay
Koi weham O gumaN na rahay darmiyaN
Yunhi Dil se milo dil Milatay howay
Kar k nazranaa Olfat ko mehk-e wafa
har kisi se milo Dukh chupatay howay
Gar hai VeeraN chaman shamein RoshaN karo
Bheegi PalkouN se OnnKo Bachatay howay



جیسے گُل سے ملے ۔ ہنس کے بادِ نسیم
یونہی مجھ سے ملو مُسکراتے ہوئے
کوئی وہم و گُمان نہ رہے درمیاں
یونہی دل سے ملو دل ملاتے ہوئے
کر کے نذرانہ اُلفت کو ، مہکِ وفا
ہر کسی سے ملو دُکھ چُھپاتے ہوئے
گر ہے ویراں چمن، شمعیں روشن کرو
بھیگی پلکوں سے اُن کو بچاتے ہوئے

[shakeeel]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

[WASI ANJUM]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

چہرے سے اپنے چلمن ہٹاتے ہوئے
یونہی ملو مجھ سے مسکراتے ہوئے


chehre se apne chilman hata,tay huwe
youn he milo mujh se muskraate huwe

[.]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

arey sis tension na lo...main hun na..inshallah sikhaa dungi... dekho WASI ANJUM jee ne khud se behr mein likh liya...inshallah tum bhi likh logi :thmbup: accha behr ke hawale se ye links bhi dekhna ..shayad koi kaam aaye....

http://www.ebazm.com/beher.htm

http://www.ebazm.com/beher2.htm

waise tumne bahut achchi koshish ki hai aur misron mein rabt bhi khoob hai magar wahi behr se chook gayi magar khushi is baat ki hai ke khayal achcha hai aur zara si tabdeeli se misra badi aasaani se ikdam behr mein aa jaayega ...main ik second mein misra behr mein likh sakti hun magar main chahungi ke tum khud koshish karo...


tum pehle diye gaye misre ko kisi ek flow mein parho baar baar...uske baad apne misre ko usi flow mein parhne ki koshish karo..saaf farq mehsoos hoga..tum apne misre ko flow mein misre ko parh nahi sakogi..baar baar zabaan aTkegi..try it... uske ilawa taqtee bhi ki jaaye 1-2 ke bases pe to bhi wazan mein nahi hain words...

ab dekho wazan hai

2 1 2,2 1 2, 2 1 2, 2 1 2

aur misra hai

yun hi mujhse milo muskuraate hue

-------------------------------

ab ise alag alag likhte hain:

2-yun
1-hi
2-mujh,
2-se
1-mi
2-lo,
2-mus
1-ku
2-raa,
2-te
1-hu
2-e

theek?!

tumhara misra:

bhula kay saray zamanay ki talkheyan

ghalat=X ok.......

--------------------------------------------------

2-bhu X
1-la
2-kay,
2-saa
1-re X
2-za, X
2-maa
1-ne X
2-ki, X
2-tal
1-khi
2-yaaN

tumhara pehla syllable hi ghalat wazan pe hai... bhu- choti awaaz hai jiska wazan hai =1

chalo main tumhari thori si help karti hun... main shuru ke kuch alfaaz likh deti hun..aage tum khud misra mukammal karo behr mein...lafz sab wahi honge tumhare misre ke bas aage peeche kardo to behr mein aa jaayenge... :)

2 1 2, 2 1 2, 2 1 2, 2 1 2

bhoo-l kar ,tum 1 2, 2 1 2, 2 1 2
2-1 2, 2....

bhool kar tum......

aage u continue.... ALL THE BEST :salam:

thanxx for helping :thmbup:
main pher try kar kay post karti houn :rose

last date kia hai :hhh:

[kashish]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

Asslamoalikum!
Ye meri attachment hai.
Shi hai ya ghalat ye nishandhi krna aap ka kam hai.

[saraah]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

hosla dil ka meri jan azmatay hue
yon hi muj se milo muskratay hue

[Mujahid Khan]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA



taire shikwe gilay maiN sunooNga magar
yun hi mujse milo muskuraate hue

[kashish]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

Asslamoalikum!
Meri agle attachment bhi hazir hai.

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

waise to sirf girah lagani thi magar mashallah se aapne to saath chand ashaar bhi pesh kar diye..lagta hai ye behr aapke liye khaasi aasaan rahi :thmbup: chaliye dekhte hain kaun kaun se misre bilkul behr mein hain :)

jesay gul se milay hans k baad-e naseem
Yunhi mujh se milo muskaratay howay

wah...ikdam sahi!:thmbup:

Koi weham O gumaN na rahay darmiyaN
Yunhi Dil se milo dil Milatay howay

waise to aapne behr mein likhne ki koshish ki hai magar aapka pehla misra bebehr ho gaya hai aur woh bhi bas ek choti si ghalati se... asl mein yaad rakhein ke hamesha lafz 'na' ka wazan har haal mein sirf '1' hota hai...2 kabhi nahi...OK ...shuru mein mujhse bhi yahi mistake hoti thi magar phir asaatiza logon ne tok tok ke durust kara diya...:D

Kar k nazranaa Olfat ko mehk-e wafa
har kisi se milo Dukh chupatay howay

ye bhi theek hai! :)

Gar hai VeeraN chaman shamein RoshaN karo
Bheegi PalkouN se OnnKo Bachatay howay

ye bhi sahi hai :)

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

wah shakeel sahab pichle muqaable ki tarah is baar bhi aap ki entry qaabil-e-taareef hai... bahut hi rawaaN dawaaN girah hai...mashallah...mabrook :thmbup:

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

چہرے سے اپنے چلمن ہٹاتے ہوئے

یونہی ملو مجھ سے مسکراتے ہوئے

chehre se apne chilman hata,tay huwe

youn he milo mujh se muskraate huwe

isko yuN kar dijiye to misra aur rawaaN ho jaayega:

Apne chehre se chilman hataate hue

'yun he mujh se milo muskraate huwe'

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

thanxx for helping :thmbup:
main pher try kar kay post karti houn :rose

last date kia hai :hhh:

31st

try karo..bahut hi aasaan hai...aur girah bhi achchi hai... me waiting..do try :thmbup:

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

Asslamoalikum!

Ye meri attachment hai.
Shi hai ya ghalat ye nishandhi krna aap ka kam hai.

ws..plz sher roman mein bhi likha kijiye ok.

Taahirah chahe rakh do masal ke mujhe
'yun hi mujhse milo muskuraate hue'

sahi hai :)

[shummu]

Re: Aaiye GIRAH lagaiye(2)-15 rozah SILSILA

hosla dil ka meri jan azmatay hue
yon hi muj se milo muskratay hue

sab se pehle to is muqable mein khushaamadeed :rose

ab aapki girah dekhte hain:

behr hai:

2 1 2,2 1 2, 2 1 2, 2 1 2
faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun

aap ka misra be behr ho gaya hai aur is mein 1 syllable bhi zyaada hai :)

agar aap ise yun kar de to behr mein aa jaayega:

hausla dil ka tum aazmaate hue

waise koshish kijiye aur behtar soorat nikaalne ki :thmbup: