Afsana: Shama

[Pehli``Barish]

Asalam-o-alikum :rose
ye afsana main ne contest k liye likha tha
laikin kuch problems ki vajha say isky inpage nahi kar
saki is liye aap k sath yahan share kar rahi hon

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

.

[Capt.Abdur Rehman]

Re: Afsana: Shama

buhat umdah baarish jee..wasay agar yay compt ..main hota tu..!!

[Pakiza]

Re: Afsana: Shama

sachi muhabat

bahut khub likha hai....app tu be taj winner ho gain
aur tasveer ke saath mukammal insaf kiya hai

khush rahin

[Yaaram]

Re: Afsana: Shama

Wah zabardst - bohat acha likha hay - wadya :rose

[GumShuda]

Re: Afsana: Shama

Nice , acha afsana likha hai (Y)

[uzair143]

Re: Afsana: Shama

bout hi peyara likha hai sameera ji
keep it up
Uzair

[Z.]

Re: Afsana: Shama

good effort .... aap inpage key baghair hi wahaN post ker deteiN :d

regarding your this tehreer aik cheez keh sakti huN??

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

zarror kaho

[Z.]

Re: Afsana: Shama

zarror kaho

from the starting to the end part....... it goes cool aur theme bhi achi hai magar ending aap ney kafi jaldi nahi ker di??? as aap ki baki tehrereIn kafi mukammal heiN...

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

buhat umdah baarish jee..wasay agar yay compt ..main hota tu..!!

bohat shukriya sher ali , khush rahain

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

sachi muhabat

bahut khub likha hai....app tu be taj winner ho gain
aur tasveer ke saath mukammal insaf kiya hai

khush rahin

bohat shukriya pakiza ji , khush rahain

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

Wah zabardst - bohat acha likha hay - wadya :rose

bohat shukriya

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

Nice , acha afsana likha hai (Y)

bout hi peyara likha hai sameera ji
keep it up
Uzair

bohat shukriya ehsan our uzair

[Pehli``Barish]

Re: Afsana: Shama

from the starting to the end part....... it goes cool aur theme bhi achi hai magar ending aap ney kafi jaldi nahi ker di??? as aap ki baki tehrereIn kafi mukammal heiN...

bohat shukriya jo tum ne itni tawaja say meri tehreer parhi :rose
mera khayal hai k kahani k anjaam say aik our kahani sharoo honi chahiye, agar main chahti to naz our raheel ki dosti or shadi ko tafseel say discuss karti , lakin esa main ne jaan bojh kar nahi kia iski ki vajha say bhi kahani kuch adhori adhori si lagti hai. bahral tumhari raye mery liye bohat mohteram our mashal-e-rah hai..
Q k main sirf net k liye likhti hon, our net per ziyadha taweel na to log parhty hain our na he itna waqt sarf kar sakty hain, is liye bhi main mukhtasir likhti hon. kisi kahani ka phailaao agar barh raha hota hai to usy smait dayti hon our samaitny ki koshish main kabhi kamiyaab hojati hon to kabhi nakaam, agar tumhain lagta hai k main is kahani main nakaam hoi hon to main isko dobara dekhongi
our is bary main our logon ki raye ki muntazir rahongi :rose