~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

[WASI ANJUM]

[ATTACH]51930[/ATTACH]

[Capt.Abdur Rehman]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

buhat khoob Wasi bro:rose

[farahan]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

Bohat hi umda ghazal... har ek sher daad-e-tehseen ka musthiq hai.
Dheron daad-o-tehseen qabool farmaiye.

[WASI ANJUM]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

buhat khoob Wasi bro:rose

Shukriya sher Ali :rose

[WASI ANJUM]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

Bohat hi umda ghazal... har ek sher daad-e-tehseen ka musthiq hai.
Dheron daad-o-tehseen qabool farmaiye.

Bahot shukriya farahan :rose

[shummu]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

salam wasi jee ..aapki ghazal dekh kar apni likhi ek puraani ghazal yaad aa gayi jiska ek sher kuch yuN tha.. :)


kitne naadaan the jo samajh na sake
khwaab ki neev pe ghar banaate rahe!

aapki ghazal yun to achchi hai jazbaat ke hisaab se magar technically zara kamzor hai..agar aap isi ghazal ko behr mein likhein to ghazal parhne ka mazaa dobaala ho jaayega kyonki phir ek rhythm aa jaayega kalaam mein..jaise ki maine aapka doosra sher kuch yuN likha hai ke behr mein aa jaaye..

muR ke dekhaa na usne kabhii bhii mujhe
phir bhi aawaaz usko lagaata raha


ya aap apne pehle sher ke doosra misra dekhiye...


'mann hi mann meiN use bulaata raha'


sirf ek lafz se woh behr mein aa raha hai aur aap khud parhke dekhein..

'mann hi mann meiN use maiN bulaata raha'

dono misron ko to farq mehsoos hoga ke edited version mein rawaani aa gayi hai aur zabaan pe atak nahi raha hai ek bhi lafz parhte hue..


thori bahut changes se ghazal bahut hi khoobsurat aur rawaaN behr mein aa sakti hai ..koshish kar ke dekhein...

faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun
mann-hi-mann,meiN-u-se,maiN-bu-laa,taa-ra-haa

ummeed hai aapko meri koi baat buri nahi lagi hogi... chunki shayri section ki mod bani hun isliye himmat karke ye sab likha hai..ummeed hai bura nahi maanenge :) aap mein waqaii salahiyat hai likhne ki to kyon aur aur acche se likha jaaye haina... so ijazat :salam:

zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada :rose

[WASI ANJUM]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

salam wasi jee ..aapki ghazal dekh kar apni likhi ek puraani ghazal yaad aa gayi jiska ek sher kuch yuN tha.. :)


kitne naadaan the jo samajh na sake
khwaab ki neev pe ghar banaate rahe!

aapki ghazal yun to achchi hai jazbaat ke hisaab se magar technically zara kamzor hai..agar aap isi ghazal ko behr mein likhein to ghazal parhne ka mazaa dobaala ho jaayega kyonki phir ek rhythm aa jaayega kalaam mein..jaise ki maine aapka doosra sher kuch yuN likha hai ke behr mein aa jaaye..

muR ke dekhaa na usne kabhii bhii mujhe
phir bhi aawaaz usko lagaata raha


ya aap apne pehle sher ke doosra misra dekhiye...


'mann hi mann meiN use bulaata raha'


sirf ek lafz se woh behr mein aa raha hai aur aap khud parhke dekhein..

'mann hi mann meiN use maiN bulaata raha'

dono misron ko to farq mehsoos hoga ke edited version mein rawaani aa gayi hai aur zabaan pe atak nahi raha hai ek bhi lafz parhte hue..


thori bahut changes se ghazal bahut hi khoobsurat aur rawaaN behr mein aa sakti hai ..koshish kar ke dekhein...

faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun,faa-i-lun
mann-hi-mann,meiN-u-se,maiN-bu-laa,taa-ra-haa

ummeed hai aapko meri koi baat buri nahi lagi hogi... chunki shayri section ki mod bani hun isliye himmat karke ye sab likha hai..ummeed hai bura nahi maanenge :) aap mein waqaii salahiyat hai likhne ki to kyon aur aur acche se likha jaaye haina... so ijazat :salam:

zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada :rose

Bahoot shukriya shummu:rose
Insha Allah ki hidayat per amal karoonga

[shummu]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

Bahoot shukriya shummu:rose
Insha Allah ki hidayat per amal karoonga

u r most welcome :salam:

[lucky]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

bohat khoob
well done:clap:

[WASI ANJUM]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

bahoot bahoot shukriya lucky

[Ehsaas786]

Re: ~Khawab mein bhi kaisay sajata raha~

kirchiyan haath mn sajata rahaa
waah ji ..