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Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

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  • Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

    Salaam ahl-e-bazm!
    Kaafi din baad ek nayi ghazal likhi hai ek forum pe diye gaye tarahi misre pe....dekhiye kaisi hai :)

    sa'ate-e-vasl jagaane lagi armaaN kyaa kyaa
    khwaab sajne lage yakdam sar-e-mizzghaaN kyaa kyaa


    dekh kar teri wafaayeiN wo sar-e-bazm-e-aduu
    dil ne phir yaad kiye waada-o-paimaaN kyaa kyaa


    mujh ko buzdil na samajhnaa ke abhii dekhna tum
    rang laayegii mirii quwwat-e-pinhaaN kyaa kyaa


    dekheiN is baar du'aaoN meiN asar hai kitnaa
    dekheiN barsaati hai woh raHmat-e-yazdaaN kyaa kyaa


    mere naale,miri aaheiN ye bataa dengi tuMhe...
    'gul khilaati hai naseem-e-Gham-e-pinhaaN kyaa kyaa'


    raah-e-ulfat meiN faqat tuu hi khasaare meiN nahin
    aa kabhii dekh sahe maine hain nuqsaaN kyaa kyaa


    ye nazaare,ye manaazir kareiN shikwah mujh se
    DhooNdte hain ye tire deeda-e-HairaaN kyaa kyaa??


    dekhnaa tum miri bastii se guzar ke jaanaaN!
    meri shoreeda saree ko mile unwaaN kyaa kyaa


    zehn khaamosh,zubaaN chup,dil-e-khaanaa sunsaaN
    Haaye! Jaate hue woh kar gaya veeraaN kyaa kyaa


    roz-o-shab, shaam-o-seHar taj diye tere dar par
    zindagii tujh pe karooN aur maiN qurbaaN kyaa kyaa?

    Adaab,
    Shumaila
    Last edited by shummu; 4 January 2008, 15:30.

  • #2
    Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

    Main ney jab jab aap ki shairana soch ko parha hai, mujhey har bar is mein aik neya'pan mila hai. Aap ki shairi mein woh chashni hai Shumaila jo dil mein ghar kar jati hai. Is tarhi ghazal ka aik aik azu bohat umdah aur haseen paraey mein dhala geya hai - very nice work done. Tarhi ghazal baaz oqat mushkil ho jati hai - magar aap ney issey bohat hi dilkash andaaz mein biyaan kiya hai. Mujhey agar koi shikwa hai to yeh hai keh aap kam kam likhti hain :)
    tumharey bas mein agar ho to bhool jao mujhey
    tumhein bhulaney mein shayid mujhey zamana lagey

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

      Originally posted by Masood
      Main ney jab jab aap ki shairana soch ko parha hai, mujhey har bar is mein aik neya'pan mila hai. Aap ki shairi mein woh chashni hai Shumaila jo dil mein ghar kar jati hai. Is tarhi ghazal ka aik aik azu bohat umdah aur haseen paraey mein dhala geya hai - very nice work done. Tarhi ghazal baaz oqat mushkil ho jati hai - magar aap ney issey bohat hi dilkash andaaz mein biyaan kiya hai. Mujhey agar koi shikwa hai to yeh hai keh aap kam kam likhti hain :)
      lolz jee samajh lijiye har kisi ko mujhse yahi shikayat hai keh main kam kam likhti hoon...magar kya karoon Masood jee zabardasti mujhse shayri hoti nahi jab tak ke aamad na ho isliye der sawer ho jaati hai....aap ne jin khoobsurat alfaaz mein hamari ghazal ki taareef ki hai ke humein lajawaab kar diya....main koshish to yahi karti hoon ke pichle se behtar hi likh sakoon magar kalaam mein behtari ki gunjaaish hamesha hi rehti hai ....duaa kijiye aur achcha likhne lagoon...waise aap jaise paRhne aur saraahne waale ho to kaafi hausla baRhta hai mazeed likhne ka.....tah-e-dil se shukriya :rose :rose

      Shumaila

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      • #4
        Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

        salam jhumroo jee....bahut bahut nawaazish ......aap jaise sukhanshanaas shakhsiyat ne mere kalaam ki itni taareef kar di to samajh lijiye meri mehnat vusool ho gayi...aap ne jis tarah sheron ko paRha..samjha...saraaha dekhkar bahut hauslaafzaayi hui hai meri.........thank u so so so very much :rose :rose is baar zameen khaasi dushwaar thi aur apni baat kehne ke liye mujhe mushkil alfaaz ka sahaara lena paRa warna amooman mere kalaam khaase saada hote hain..magar ye bhi sach hai ke waqt aur tajurbe ke saath insaan seekhta bhi hai chaahe koi bhi fan ho aur pukhtagi bhi aane lagti hai....isliye shayad aap ko is baar mere kalaam mein pehle se pukhtagi nazar aayi.....:) duaa kijiye ise bhi behtar likh sakoon aayenda....shukriya :salam:

        Shumaila

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

          Bohat umdah likhti hain aap Shummu ji..bohat khoobsoorat lafzon k peraeey mein ... dhali hueey ye ghazal ...:thmbup:
          aapki shairi mein ek naya pan hai
          sigpic

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          • #6
            Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

            Originally posted by Eshaa_wellwisher
            Bohat umdah likhti hain aap Shummu ji..bohat khoobsoorat lafzon k peraeey mein ... dhali hueey ye ghazal ...:thmbup:
            aapki shairi mein ek naya pan hai
            bahut bahu nawaazish...jab koi ek shaks bhi aap ki tehreer ko daad se nawaaz de to bahut hausla milta hai ..bahut shukriya sis tah-e-dil se ise parhne ..aur saraahne ka :rose :rose

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

              Amazing Janab
              Kia baat hy aapki,,,
              kamal hy G
              Bht Neet & pure urdu jo kamaz km mujhay nhi aa skti
              Kia kehnay G
              hum bhi barhe urdu daan bnay phirte hain
              ab aankhen khul rehi hain k aapka andaaz tu outstanding hy G
              bht zabardust ghazal hy janab,
              bus kia tareef kroon aapki

              han ek ye shair

              raah-e-ulfat meiN faqat tuu hi khasaare meiN nahin
              aa kabhii dekh sahe maine hain nuqsaaN kyaa kyaa,

              or ek last shair me thorha sa up down hy jo me Xplain tu nhi kr sakta haan kuch hy zarur ye zarur bta sakta hoon,

              kher overall bht he zabardust ghazal kahi hy aapne
              Claps 4 You again,,,

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              • #8
                sigpic

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                • #9
                  Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

                  nice poetry

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

                    BAhot khoob shummu bahot khoobsurat Ghazal kahi hai aap ne
                    sigpic

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                    • #11
                      Re: Taaza tarahi Ghazal...

                      buth he khoooooooob
                      I aM Not a complete Idiot......Some parts are Missing........

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