aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

[SherAli]

salaam saathiyo

aapkii meHfil meN maiN yeh apnii pahlii Ghazal post kar rahaa huuN is ummeed-e-qawii ke saath k aapkii taba-e-naazuk par bar-e-giraaN na guzregii. shukria.

aapkii aaraa aur tanqees o tanqeed kaa shiddat se intizaar rahegaa, shukria.

_______Sheroo


koii raah-e-raast paaye Allah kaa ghar dekh kar
lauT aataa hai koii Ka'be meN patthar dekh kar

kaun se muNh se karuuN inkaar US ke fazl kaa
US kii rai'Hmat ko mirii 'asyaaN se baRh kar, dekh kar!

kiuN na dil be_taab ho qadmoN meN girne ke liye
aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar

kiuN na Hikmat DhoonDhne kii aur bhii Khowaahish karuuN
gardish-e-aflaak aur dunyaa ka chakkar dekh kar

josh par aayii mire Khaaliq kii rai'Hmat Hashr meN
jhuk gayaa jab sar miraa, 'asyaaN ka daftar dekh kar

is taraf baRhtii hai unkii yaad, lekin us taraf
unkii Ghaflat baRh rahii hai mujhko musztar dekh kar

vaar karne meN tumheN kia der hai, dekhnaa!
Khud ba_Khud sar Kham huaa jaataa hai Khanjar dekh kar

"AAJ" ke israar par vo haNs ke "KAL" kahne lage
jhaaNk kar aaNkhoN meN apnaa 'aks andar dekh kar

gir ke pachhtaaii hai chilman yaar ke ruKhsaar se
unko HairaaN dekh kar, maHfil ko shushdar dekh kar

phir fidaa hone ko dil be_saaKhta lalchaaye hai
tujhko, ai jaan-e-jahaaN, aape se baahar dekh kar

aaNdhiyaaN bhii ab to aatii haiN mujhii ko DhoonDhne
bijliyaaN, kam_baKht!, girtii haiN mira ghar dekh kar

qai'hr hai dunyaa meN jinke zohd_o_taqwaa kaa Ghuroor
bujh gayaa dil kiina-e-zaahid ko aksar dekh kar

dai'hr meN hai ik vohii insaaN adab kaa mustaHiq
Khush jo hotaa hai kisii ko Khud se behtar dekh kar

surKhii-e-ruKhsaar ne kuchh Husn afzooN kar diyaa
chai'hre bujh jaate haiN, "JaanaaN!", aapkaa shar dekh kar

[Pretty_doll]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

As Ghazal key last Bun sey phley app key duno masrai Vazan sey Kharig hi just ak achi Kosish tu kaha ja sakta hi as kai sewa kuch nahi Umeed karte hon app mashk-e- Sukhan jare o sari Rakhin gi or ghazal key wazan par pore Tawaja dain gi ... as key liyai app Mashoor shora ka Kalaam pharin .... insha ALLAH kafe Kuch seekhnai ko milai ga

[WASI ANJUM]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

Bahot khoob janab bahot khoobsurat Gazal likhi hai aap ne

[*Hala*]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

ha!! buht khob bro khush raho

[J.KHAN]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

bahot achhi gazal likhi hai

[shabz]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

As Ghazal key last Bun sey phley app key duno masrai Vazan sey Kharig hi just ak achi Kosish tu kaha ja sakta hi as kai sewa kuch nahi Umeed karte hon app mashk-e- Sukhan jare o sari Rakhin gi or ghazal key wazan par pore Tawaja dain gi ... as key liyai app Mashoor shora ka Kalaam pharin .... insha ALLAH kafe Kuch seekhnai ko milai ga

pretty jee bohat achay remarks diyain hain ap ne
kaya he acha hota agar app last k ashaar ki taseeh bhi kar deteen
tu sehar jee ki ghazal ki noke palak bhi sawar jati or un ko ake ustad bhi mill jata
kyun k poetry k hawalay say ap ka exp kafi hai ,
ye tu bohat he achi baat hai k iss fourm may poetry ko inti achi tarhan samjhany walay majood hain .

[SherAli]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

As Ghazal key last Bun sey phley app key duno masrai Vazan sey Kharig hi just ak achi Kosish tu kaha ja sakta hi as kai sewa kuch nahi Umeed karte hon app mashk-e- Sukhan jare o sari Rakhin gi or ghazal key wazan par pore Tawaja dain gi ... as key liyai app Mashoor shora ka Kalaam pharin .... insha ALLAH kafe Kuch seekhnai ko milai ga

salaam moHtaramah,

apnii Ghazal par aapke garaaN_qadr ta'assuraat paRh kar bahot Khushii maHsoos huii aur maiN aapkaa shukria adaa kartaa huN k aap ne na sirf paRhaa bal k apnii besh-bahaa aaraa bhii ba_ham pahoNchaaii. aapkii zaat meN mujhe ek suKhan shinaas nazar aayaa. ummeed hai aap aise hii insha Allah apnii qeemtii islaaH se navaaztii raheNgii aur mujhe shukria adaa karne kaa mauq'a faraaham kartii rahengii.

aap agar merii aGhlaat kii nishaan dehii farmaa kar uskii islaaH kar deNgii to ai'n navaazish hogii :) aapkii bataayii huii hidaayaat par insha Allah 'amal kartaa rahuuNgaa. :)

inshaa Allah, koshish karuuNgaa :) baqaul Hasrat Mohaanii ke:

hai mashq-e-suKhan jaarii, chakki kii mashaqqat bhii
ik turfa tamaasha hai, "Hasrat" kii tabii'at bhii

:)

[SherAli]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

Bahot khoob janab bahot khoobsurat Gazal likhi hai aap ne

daad dehii ke liye banda mamnoon hai teh-e-dil se. :)

[SherAli]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

ha!! buht khob bro khush raho

bahot bahot shukria paseeraaii ke liye bahna :)

[SherAli]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

bahot achhi gazal likhi hai

Khan saaHib aapkaa be_Had shukria k aap ne Ghazal kii pazeeraaii kii...:)

[SherAli]

Re: aapkii nazr-e-'inaayat, banda_parvar!, dekh kar...merii Ghazal

pretty jee bohat achay remarks diyain hain ap ne
kaya he acha hota agar app last k ashaar ki taseeh bhi kar deteen
tu sehar jee ki ghazal ki noke palak bhi sawar jati or un ko ake ustad bhi mill jata
kyun k poetry k hawalay say ap ka exp kafi hai ,
ye tu bohat he achi baat hai k iss fourm may poetry ko inti achi tarhan samjhany walay majood hain .

moHtaramah Shabz saaHiba,
salaam, ummeed hai k mizaaj-e-giraamii ba_Khair hoNge. aapkaa maiN be_Had mamnoon huN k aapne apnaa ta'assur bayaan farmaayaa. ji, aapne durust farmaayaa k agar nishaan-dehii kar deN aur islaaH bhi farma adeN to ai'n navaazish hogii jisse mujeh aur tamaam aHbaab e maHfil ko istifaada hogaa. shukria ek baar phir se aap sabhi kaa :)

faqat Kahak nashiiN
_______Sheroo :)