Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

[hayaa_n]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

aah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bahut hi dardnaak kahani likhi hai aapne hayaa......mere to raunGte khaRe ho gaye paRhte hue...i was really sad after reading it...... ek taraf aap ki comedy tehreer paRhi thi jo maze se bharpoor thi aur ek taraf ye sanjeeda tehreer..aap har qism ki tehreer likhne mein maahir hain mshaAllah... writers section mein ab tak bas maine aap hi ki tehreerein paRhin hain aur aap hi ko vote diya hai .. :) Is kahani pe bharpoor daad qubool farmaayein....aap kahani mein characters ko waqaii zinda kar deti hain aur manzar kashi bhi khoob karti hain..... u r an excellent writer I must say!!!

aap ki aur bhi tehreeron ka intizaar rahega...... zor-e-qalam aur bhi ziyaada!

Shumaila

:jazak: :) Shumaila ji aap ka aik aur bouhat howsla afza reply mujhay mila.bouhat khushi hui k aap ko yeh tehreer bhi pasand aai.bas jo mind main aata hay likhti chali jaati hun...khushi is baat ki hay k likha huwa pasand kiya gaya bouhat shukar guzaar hun k Allah nay mujhay sharminda honay say bachaya warna to main bouhat junior hun...Shumaila ji abhi dekhti hun k kiya main bhi Writers ki list main hun? mujhay to pata hi nahi tha..:tauba Shaairi k vote thread main hi bas khud ko dekha to hairat hui k abhi to likhna shuru kiya tha..:)

[Desi_Kuri]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

achee kahani hay may roi bi hoo :(

[hayaa_n]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

achee kahani hay may roi bi hoo :(

Kuri ji aap k reply ka bouhat bouhat shukriya..but plz roiye ga nahi...ok ab rulanay wali nahi likhun gi ok? ab yun hans dijiye.:lol main rota nahi dekh sakun gi so keep smiling.:)

['SamRazi']

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Hayaa_n ......... kya kahoon :cry mei parhtey parhtey is main itna kho gayi ke aisa laga as if its real, belive me ghar ja ker bhi sochti rahi, bechari Mariyam aur sadia ne kitni bari galati ki. Tum ne buhut zabardast likha hai, aur ek choti si haqeeqat jo akser hum nahi sochtey ke baaz oaqat kisi ki choti si nadani yaan sharat dosro'n ke liyeh ko kis qadar museebat main daal sakti hai.

Very well written Hayaa_n :thmbup:

[hayaa_n]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Hayaa_n ......... kya kahoon :cry mei parhtey parhtey is main itna kho gayi ke aisa laga as if its real, belive me ghar ja ker bhi sochti rahi, bechari Mariyam aur sadia ne kitni bari galati ki. Tum ne buhut zabardast likha hai, aur ek choti si haqeeqat jo akser hum nahi sochtey ke baaz oaqat kisi ki choti si nadani yaan sharat dosro'n ke liyeh ko kis qadar museebat main daal sakti hai.

Very well written Hayaa_n :thmbup:

:jazak: :) Saima ji aap ko mairay likhay nay itna udaas kar diya yeh to sahi nahi na... but yahi likhi gai thi mujh say...try karun gi k sad na likhun..but yeh ham par nahi hota na? jaisi aamad ho wesa likha jata hay..Saima ji aap nay kis qadar umda reply say nawaza hay k main kiya kahun?ji haan is main koi shak nahi k wrong numbers par aur net par bhi yeh sunnay main merey aaya hay..bas yahi kehna chahti thi k jaan tak ja sakti hay is liye in baton say bachiye..Sadia jesi larkiyo'n ko bhi aisa khail nahi khailna chahiye k is tarha kabhi kisi ki madad nahi hoti...bouhat shukriya Saima ji.:)

[Spy009]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Hayaa ji
Very nice story, ab tak aap ki do kahani padha, pehla Sandara wali, dusra yeh, itna waqt nahin milta ke online padhoon, iss liye printout le kar iteminan se padhta hoon, you’re good script writer, aisa lagta hai jab aap likhne baithti hain to ALFAZ haath baandhey aap ke aagay khada rahta hoga,

Script ke barikiyon pe dhyan deti hain, jaise

Mez pe chadh kar wall ke dusrey taraf jhankna, ke fauran mom ki awaz se nichey utarna,

Mariam khat se yeh andaza lagan ke unki handwriting aap ki handwriting se behter hai, yeh sab barikiya story mein jaan dalti hain, aap dono pahloo se sochti hain, very nice.

Padhney wala writer ko absolutely Marium ka gunahgar samjheta hai, lekin dusri aur ek samphyth bhi ke jab unki beti hoti hai then she named her “Marium

[Spy009]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Lekin mein issey kya kahoon ek naadan ladki ki kahani ya ek naadan writer ki deemagh ki upaj

Aap ke zehan mein yeh qatilaana concept kaise aaya

Definetly Marium jaisi ladkiyan bahut sentimental hoti hain, wo naadan nahin thi, ek to step mother se maar peet, dusri father se bhi pyar nahin, always exploitation creates mental tension aisi halat mein wo hamdost ka qyas karti hai lekin jab last letter (as you written) ke Waqar koi ladka nahin ek ladki hai, definetly Marium ghash kha gayi hogi ke Waqar ne ussey dhoka diya, aur phir wo khudkushi kar li.

['SamRazi']

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

:jazak: :) Saima ji aap ko mairay likhay nay itna udaas kar diya yeh to sahi nahi na... but yahi likhi gai thi mujh say...try karun gi k sad na likhun..but yeh ham par nahi hota na? jaisi aamad ho wesa likha jata hay..

Arey nahi chand mera matlab yeh nahi tha, ke tum na likho, main samajhti hoon, jo baat dil mei aati hai wahi insan likha hai, ousi flow mei likhtey to pur-asar hoti hai. Mere kehney ka matlab yeh tha ke tum ne is qadar zabardast andaz mei likha hai ke aisa laga hi nahi jese koi kahani parhi ho, balkey aisa mehsoos huwa ke dono caracters ko jantey hon aur oun ki story mei shamil reh ker sab khudh mehsoos kiya. It was a compliments dear :)

[hayaa_n]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Hayaa ji


Script ke barikiyon pe dhyan deti hain, jaise

Mez pe chadh kar wall ke dusrey taraf jhankna, ke fauran mom ki awaz se nichey utarna,

Mariam khat se yeh andaza lagan ke unki handwriting aap ki handwriting se behter hai, yeh sab barikiya story mein jaan dalti hain, aap dono pahloo se sochti hain, very nice.

Spy ji aap kay is qadar umda reply ko kai baar parh chuki hun :jazak: :) kitna howsla afza reply hay aap ka.....Spy ji main aik lafz nahi likh sakti jab tak k aamad na ho...aisay aisay haal main likha hay jab k us waqt likhnay ka koi tukk nahi banta tha but likhnay baith gai...kabhi soch samajh kar nahi likha jata, jo mind main woh kaghaz par..jo kaghaz par woh type...bas isi tarha hamaisha likha hay.. khushi hui hay aap k reply say..k itna busy ho kar bhi aap nay roman urdu k liye time nikala.bouhat shukriya.:)

[hayaa_n]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Lekin mein issey kya kahoon ek naadan ladki ki kahani ya ek naadan writer ki deemagh ki upaj

Aap ke zehan mein yeh qatilaana concept kaise aaya

Definetly Marium jaisi ladkiyan bahut sentimental hoti hain, wo naadan nahin thi, ek to step mother se maar peet, dusri father se bhi pyar nahin, always exploitation creates mental tension aisi halat mein wo hamdost ka qyas karti hai lekin jab last letter (as you written) ke Waqar koi ladka nahin ek ladki hai, definetly Marium ghash kha gayi hogi ke Waqar ne ussey dhoka diya, aur phir wo khudkushi kar li.

Spy ji Khudkushi k waqeaat bhi isi duniya main hotay hain na?achay khasay ba'himmat loge yeh nadani kar bethtay hain...bouhat howsla rakhtay huway bhi koi kamzor lamha un k sochnay samajhnay ki salahiyat aisi khatam karta hay k woh hosh main nahi rehtay aur intehaai qadam utha bethtay hain....
main jab likhti hun to lagta hay k woh kirdaar main hi hun..apni story ka har kirdar us waqt Haya par haawi hota hay aur main likhti chali jati hun, lagta hay k Haya nay nahi likha aur na kuch mujhay imagenary lagta hay, lagta hay k yeh sab real main ho raha hay aur pata nahi kis waqt kahani mukammal ho jati hay....
mujhay aap k replies bouhat achay lagay.bouhat shukriya Spy ji.:jazak: :)

[hayaa_n]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

Arey nahi chand mera matlab yeh nahi tha, ke tum na likho, main samajhti hoon, jo baat dil mei aati hai wahi insan likha hai, ousi flow mei likhtey to pur-asar hoti hai. Mere kehney ka matlab yeh tha ke tum ne is qadar zabardast andaz mei likha hai ke aisa laga hi nahi jese koi kahani parhi ho, balkey aisa mehsoos huwa ke dono caracters ko jantey hon aur oun ki story mei shamil reh ker sab khudh mehsoos kiya. It was a compliments dear :)

:jazak: :) Saima ji itni umda writer ho kar aap nay jis tarha howsla afzaai ki hay us ki main dil say qadar karti hun aur :masha bouhat khush bhi hun kay itnay achay aur ba'zowq logon ka saath mila hay..Saima ji bouhat bouhat shukriya.sach bouhat khushi di hay aap k replies nay.so nice of you.:)

[Salauddien Mengal]

Re: Khail Hi Khail Mai'n( Aik Nadaan Larki Ki Kahani)

nice..........