Mah� July ka mauzoo--Khawab!

[*Duaa*]

Wa alaikum salam Rida
Khawaab marty nhi....................
boht khoobsoorat tehreer hay
boht achhi lagi
aur likhnay k liay boht shukriya Dear...boht khushi hui
khush rahiay aur yunhee likhti rahiay

[zmufti]

[Z.]

bloo saheba
Khawab ke mozoo per likhi gayyii tahareer maiN sab se pehlay aap ke khawabnagar ki sair kii
markazi khayal go keh achoota nahiN magar phir bhee fresh lagta hai kyoNk har insaan ke kuch khawab hote heN
aur khawab uski khawahishaat ya phir mehroomioN ke aayina daar hote heN
aap ne aik global mozoo chuna hai i ke liye shaabaash!!

ab kuch week points ki taraf aate heN

meray khayal meN pehlay aap ko haqeeqi duniya kii abtari ka naqsha khainchna chahiye thaa
phir us se apni bezaaari ka zikr karna chahiye thaa
aur phir haqeeqat se farar ke liye khawab nagar kii raah leni chahiye thii
yaani paraghraphs ko aage peechay karne se tehreer ke impact meN izaafa ho sakta hai
aik aur baat yeh keh is meN kuch adjectives ki kami hai ya youN kahiye keh khawab nagar ki manzar nigaari ko kuch adjectives ke istemaal se mazeed khoobsurat banaya ja sakta hai
(agar aap inpage file saath attach kartiiN tomeN kuch radobadal kar deti )
khush rahiye
aur likhti rahiye
zmufti

bohot shukrya zmuft sis!

aik aur sab sey barhi khami jo mujhey lagta hia key mujhey theek kerni chahiye wo ye hai key mey tehreer likhney key baad ussey dobara reading nahi deyti hun....aik hi flow mey likhney key baad ussey as it is yahaN daal deyti hun :embarasse

Ainda khayal rakhun gi inshAllah.....aur iss tehreer ko bhi theek ker key wapas post kar dun gi inshAllAh

Aap key time ka bohot shukrya, khush rahien sada!:rose

[zmufti]

[aquari]

Aquari Saheba
ab aap ki tehreer per chand baatieN likhti hooN
aap ka pehla para graph buhat achcha hai, aur jo message aap ne is tehreer ke zareeay diyya vo bhee achcha hai daad qabool kijye

maiN sirf is message meN kuch amendment karna chahti hooN
khawab dekhna buhat achchii aur positive aadaat hai
insaani taareekh aise waaqeaat se bhari paRi hai jab kissi insan ne namumkin ko mumkin banaya
is liye khawab tabahkun nahiN hote na hi yeh kissi zindagi ka nuqsaan karte heN
albata koi shakhs sirf khawab hi dekhta rahe aur is kii taabeer paane ke liye koi amli qadam na uThaaye aur naakaami ki surat meN depression meN chala jaaye to qasoor us ki kamhimmati ka ho ga

mazeed aik baat is baar lagta hai aap ne tehreer jaldi meN post kar dii
teesray paragraph meN kuch typing mistakes reh gayyii heN edit kar lijye

keep dreaming and keep writing
take care
zmufti

Sub sey pehely tu typing mistakes k lya ma'azrat..:blush: ji bilkul mainey bhi post krney k baad dekhaa...or :insha:edit kr dongi:thmbup:
Dad k lyaa dhair shuakriya..
ha bilkul yehi baat mainey bhi keheny ki koshish ki hai k khuwab dekhnaa ghalat nahi bus kis had tak dekhian jayain or kitna un ka asr zindagi main parney dya jayee yeh tayyin krnaa humara kaam hai .
bilkul baja farmaya app ney k sirf khuwab dekhney sey kaam nahi chalta amli qadm bhi uthana parta haii :)
app ney na sirf waqt nikala bulk thori bauht isleha bhi kii us k lya bauht shukriyaa:phool:

[AbgeenA]

[aquari]

nice to see ur entry Hamzad..:phool:
haa khuwab dekhnaa zaroor bus main hian pr tabeer apney ikhtiyar main nahi..!

[zmufti]

[*Duaa*]

Sumera saheba
sab se pehlay to yeh kahoN gi maiN aap ki "creative ability" ki mutaraf hooN
aap meN buhat salahiat hai bas kahiN kahiN nok palak sanwarne ki zaroorat nazar aati hai
majmooii tor par aap ki tehreer buhat pasand aayii daad qabool kijye(perhaps the best one so far this month)
aap ki tehreer ka unwaan hai "khawaboN se dar lagta hai"

aap ka pehla jumla hai"vo meri jhooli meN sapne bhar raha hai.........."
lafz jhooli ki munacibat ya to dua mangne se hai ya kissi qisam ki anayat ya bheek
to is jumle ko aap youN kar lijye "vo mujhe spne dikha raha hai..../vo mujh se kehta hai in aankhoN meN kaajal na lagaya karo mere sapnoN ke rang bhar lo....../ya aap ki marzi ka koi aur jumla
tehreer meN aik jagah aap likhti heN " is(haqeeqi) duniya meN aane ke baad apni duniya meN lautna kitna mushkil ho gaya hai...........
ab is ke aage aap ko youN likhna chahiye " magar meri apni basaii hui haseeN khawaboN ki duniya har dam mujhe waapis bulaatii hai maiN us ki taraf khinchi chali jaati hooN magar mere qadam saath naiN dete...........
aur aakhri baat aap ne jo sher aakhir meN likha hai vo aap ke apne diye hue unwaan se mutabiqat nahiN rakhta is meN munacib raddo badal kar lijye

regards
zmufti

Shukran zmufti sis.
sab say pehlay to yeh k aap hamari tehreerien parhti hien aur apnay qeemti wqt mien say hamaaray liay wqt nikaalti hien is k liay shukriya.Allah pak apko jazaa day.
tehreer pasand karnay k laiy shukriya aur aaap jaysay teachers ka saath raha to insha Allah yeh kamzooriyaan bhi door ho jaien gien.
ap k doono jumlay mujhay pasand aay..mien inhien tehreer mien add kar loon gi.
aur shair to waqai unwaan say mutabiqat nhi rakhta.
infact shair likhnay ko boht dil chaha aur koi munasib mila bhi nhi to..........mien issay hata doon gi....aur aainda khayaal rakhoon gi k aysi galti nah hoo.
ik baar phir aapka boht shukriya.:rose
Du'az
sumera

[zmufti]

[zmufti]

Assalam-0-Alaikom:rose
my entry :blush:

[ATTACH]39021[/ATTACH]

buhat khoob

Rida jee
lagta nahiN keh yeh aap ki pehli koshish hai
ya phir youN kahiye ke is se pehlay maiN ne aap ki koi tehreer nahiN paRhi
aap ne jis mozoo ka intkhaab kiyya hai usse achchii tarah nibhane meN kaamyaab rahi heN mubarikbaad qabool kijye
aur aayinda bhee likhti rahiye
sirf yeh koshish kijye "markazi khayal" aisa na ho jo filmi sa (ya musta'ar liyya hua ) lage.
khush rahiye
zmufti

[*Rida*]

buht shukriyya Zarqa sis
mm...is tarah kahani ki surat mein ....main nay pehli mertaba hi likha hai ...aap ko pasand aaya buht shukriyaaa......
aap ki naseehat hum nay zehen nasheen kar li hai ....
ALLAH TALAA aap ko khush rakhay:rose

['SamRazi']

SamRazi saheba
aap se pehli baar hamkalam ho rahi hooN
aap ki tehreer per aik qaari ki haciat se tabsara karoN gi (aap ki taraf se ijazat ko "for granted" samajhte hue)

aap ki tehreer se lagta hai keh aap mucbat soch ki haamil heN aur insaan ko khawaboN ki taabeer ke liye masroof-e-amal dekhna chahti heN. is mucbat soch ko qalamband karne ke liye mubarikbaad qabool kijye.

aap ki tehreer ka "opening paraghaph" apki tehreer ke markazi paighaam se inharaaf kar raha hai

mere khayal meN aap khawaboN ko insaani zindagi meN amal ki asaas qaraar dena chahti heN
to aap ko kuch you likhna chahiye " khawab kyaa hai? aik ghair iraadi fa'el jis meN ham khayali manazar, jazbaat ya aarzoo'uN ko dil ki aankh se dekhte heN
in meN kuch ko ham faramosh bhee kar dete heN aur kuch hamari zindagi ka maqsad ban jate heN"

aap ka doosra paragraph bilkul theek hai
teesra paragraph meN jumloN ko youN hona chaiye " mere nazdeek khawab dekhna waqt ka Ziyaa nahiN balk aise muhrak heN jo hamieN zindagi meN aage baRhne ka hosla dete heN ...............(and so on)"

aap ka ikhtatamia buhat achcha hai is ke liye daad

khush rahiye aur likhti rahiye
zmufti

Jee sahi kaha bilkul, hum pehli martaba hi humkalam huwey hain ........ magar yaqeen kijiyeh buhut acha laga aap ke comments parh ker ..... and appreciate your advise ........ aainda in baton per goar kerun gi ........ buhut shukriya :)

[zmufti]

[AbgeenA]

Hamzad saheb/saheba
aap se bhee pehli baar hamkalaam ho rahi hooN
aap ki tehreer buhat pasand aayii (daad qabool kijye)
khawab jaise mozoo ke liye jis andaaz-e-bayaN ki zaroorat thee vo aap ne ikhtiaar kiyya
magar itni mukhtacir tehreer thee keh aik tishnagi ka ehsaas reh gaya
I assume that you are a young person like most of the pg members. I wonder why you people are so pessimist.

Aisa kabhi nahiN hota keh kissi ka koi bhee khawab pura na ho
Khawab dekhna aur us ki ta'abeer paane ke liye tadbeer aur phir koshish yeh sab hamaare bas meN hai.
aap ki aayindah nigaarishaat ka intzaar rahe ga
Khush rahiye aur likhti rahiye
zmufti

zmufti meri aik choti si kawish ap ko pasand aei shukria:)or waqt ki kami ki waja se zeada na likh pai isi leay ap ko tishnagi mehsus hui is ke leay mazrat:)
or khwabon ki tabeer tadbeer ya koshish se nahi hoti ye sab qismat se hoti he or khawab to bas khawab hi hote hen serf dekhne ke leay....ap bhi khush rahey:)