Mahé Mai ka mauzoo: Pehla qatra!

[aquari]

Assalam o Alaikum Friends....Meri yeh pahli koshish hai writing ki...pata nahien aap k miyar per utarti hai ya nahien ...
Agar aap ko is main koee nuqs nazar aata hai tu plz zaroor btana mujhe jhooti tareef sunanay ka koee shoq nahien hai ... mujhe meri khami btaiey mera week point pataiey ta k main us ko theek ker sakooon
Shukria

:thmbup: ..idea or us ko paish krney ka andaz bauht khoobsoorat haii

[zmufti]

[Soulmate]

[Z.]

yellow sky saheba
aap ka shuru karda silsila ab kuch chal nikla hai
maiN maazrat khawa hooN ke apni zaati masroofiaat ki bina per is janib tawajah nahiN de paayii
maiN aur kuch ziyada to nahiN kar sakti aik qaari ki nazar se dekh kar tehreer ka jo bhee "impact" banta hai us ke mutabiq mashwara de sakti hooN

aate heN aap ki tehreer ki taraf
aap ne aik achche mozoo ka intkhaab kiyya hai aur us ko mukhtacir ilfaaz meN achchii tarah nibhane ki koshish ki hai
magar aap ka aghaaz kuch kamzor hai

so maiN apni taraf se kuch ibtadaia jumle tajweez karti hooN
likhti rahiye
aur khush rahiye
zmufti

[Z.]

meri aik koshish.....
kiqadar bholi thi woh jo yeah samajhti thi keh os ke intezar ke aziat nak lamhat aik na aik din khatam o jaen ge waqt osey bahar ki naweed sunae ga...
har taraf rang o noor ka sama'n ho ga..kalayon mein kisi ke naam ke kangan khankanaen ge..paon mein payal ki cham cham udham machae ho gi Hina ki khoshboo se saraa jiwan mehak jae ga..ek nirali sajh dhaj ho gi..
os ka intezar khatam howa mager kisi dosrey Angan mein aa key kisi dosrey naam ke kangan jab os ki kalayon mein khankhanaey..tau najane kab se intezar ke bojh se thaka mandha Ansoo ka pehla nannnah munah qatra palkon ki chiman se dalak ker kisi dosrey naam ke Anchal mein sama gaya humesha humesha ke liye...

:) :thmbup:
thanks for being here Ambreen :rose

Assalam o Alaikum Friends....Meri yeh pahli koshish hai writing ki...pata nahien aap k miyar per utarti hai ya nahien ...
Agar aap ko is main koee nuqs nazar aata hai tu plz zaroor btana mujhe jhooti tareef sunanay ka koee shoq nahien hai ... mujhe meri khami btaiey mera week point pataiey ta k main us ko theek ker sakooon
Shukria

walaikum salam!

bohot achi koshish aur baki ki tehreer yani kuch kami beshi inshAllah zmufti theek ker dein gi :thmbup:

bohot shukrya for being here!

sab ki tryayaan buhat achi hain janab ab dekh kar lagta hai ke mere tehreer kuch nehi ho ge ap sab ke samne

hamein aap ki tehreer ka inteyzaar rahey ga inshAllah :thmbup:

[Z.]

:thmbup: ..idea or us ko paish krney ka andaz bauht khoobsoorat haii

and where is your tehreer :D

[zmufti]

meri aik koshish.....
kisqadar bholi thi woh jo yeah samajhti thi keh os ke intezar ke aziat nak lamhat aik na aik din khatam o jaen ge koi bahar ki manind us ki zindagi meN daakhil hoga ...
har taraf rang o noor ka sama'n ho ga..kalayon mein kisi ke naam ke kangan khankanaen ge..paon mein payal ki cham cham udham machae ho gi Hina ki khoshboo se saraa jiwan mehak jae ga..ek nirali sajh dhaj ho gi..
os ka intezar khatam howa

saajan ke naam ke kangan us ki kalayioN meN khankney lage magar in ki khan khan kuch hi roz meN zanjeeroN ki jhanjhan si sunaaii dene lagi yeh awaz sun kar vo seham gayyii nazuk si kalayioN per hatkaRiaN chubne lagiiN
aur ankh meN aansoo machalne lage

aur vo aangan jisse us ne sada bahar gulshan samjha thaa dekhte hi dekhte aik tapta hue raigzaar ban gaya din raat ki musafat meN hi us ke talve jalne lage paael baiRioN ki tarah chubne lagi aansoo palkoN par larazne lage

Hina se kaRhe hue gul boote bhee madham paR gaye aur yeh aRhi tirchi lakeeraiN saaNp aur SeeRhi ke naqshe si lagne lagi
jaise us ki zindagi kabhi piyar ki seeRhi chaRti aur kabhi nafrat ke saaNpoN se dasi jaati

Har naya DaNk aik aansuoN ki aik nayyii mauj ko jana deta


aur najane kaise intezar ke bojh se thaka mandha Ansoo ka pehla nannnah munah qatra palkon ki chiman se dhalak ker kisi dosrey naam ke Anchal mein sama gaya hamesha hamesha ke liye...ik rasta bana gaya

Ambreen saheba
aap ki tehreer buhat achchii lagi
is meN jazbaat ka rang ghaalib hai aap ki tehreer ke wast meN kuch izaafi jumle tajweez karti hooN
Likhti rahiye aur khush rahiye
zmufti

[sccorpion81]

Ambreen saheba
aap ki tehreer buhat achchii lagi
is meN jazbaat ka rang ghaalib hai aap ki tehreer ke wast meN kuch izaafi jumle tajweez karti hooN
Likhti rahiye aur khush rahiye
zmufti

Salam Mufti Sahiba

aap ne abhi taq meri taraf nazr e karam nahein ki .. mera bhi tu koee week point btaian na

[zmufti]

Assalam o Alaikum Friends....Meri yeh pahli koshish hai writing ki...pata nahien aap k miyar per utarti hai ya nahien ...
Agar aap ko is main koee nuqs nazar aata hai tu plz zaroor btana mujhe jhooti tareef sunanay ka koee shoq nahien hai ... mujhe meri khami btaiey mera week point pataiey ta k main us ko theek ker sakooon
Shukria

Yasir saheb
aadaab
aap ne buhat achchii koshish ki hai
treatment bhee achcha hai aur baarish ki manzarkashi aur us ka "effect" buhat khoob hai
aap meN buhat potential hai (agar aap ne markazi khayal musta'ar nahiN liyya)

aakhir meN yeh kahoN gi aap ki tehreer ka markazi khayal buhat purana hai
(balk kaafi had tak filmi sa hai)
koi "fresh idea" le kar us per likhne ki koshish kijye

umeed hai meri kissi baat ka bura nahiN manayieN ge maiN ne dayanat daari se jo mehsoos kiyya likh diyya
likhte rahiye
aur khush rahiye
zmufti

[sccorpion81]

Yasir saheb
aadaab
aap ne buhat achchii koshish ki hai
treatment bhee achcha hai aur baarish ki manzarkashi aur us ka "effect" buhat khoob hai
aap meN buhat potential hai (agar aap ne markazi khayal musta'ar nahiN liyya)

aakhir meN yeh kahoN gi aap ki tehreer ka markazi khayal buhat purana hai
(balk kaafi had tak filmi sa hai)
koi "fresh idea" le kar us per likhne ki koshish kijye

umeed hai meri kissi baat ka bura nahiN manayieN ge maiN ne dayanat daari se jo mehsoos kiyya likh diyya
likhte rahiye
aur khush rahiye
zmufti

Thank u very much:)
hmm aap nay sahi kaha k markazi khyal purana hai...frsh ideas ki zaroorat hai:) ...muje likhne ka koee experience nahien hai yeh meri pajli tahreer thee bas aisay hi betha hoowa tha aur kuch kerne ko nahien tha tu socha kiun na is compitition main hissa lia jaey tu with in few min yeh likh diya ....

aap ki baat ka bura kiun manooon ga...aap nay jo mahsoos kia wo likh diya bhot acha kia ...

yeh phool aap k liey

:phool: :phool: :phool: :phool: :phool:
:phool: :phool: :phool: :phool: :phool:
:phool: :phool: :phool:

[*Duaa*]

As salam o alaikum


here i m with my koshish and mehnat:blush: :)

[aquari]

and where is your tehreer :D

Dear meri tehreer tu accident ki nazar hogaii ..itna kuch mind main tha sir pr chout lagney ki waja sey sub............:donno:

[aquari]

As salam o alaikum


here i m with my koshish and mehnat:blush: :)

achi kosish haii

[Soulmate]

[*Hala*]

haa!! deer shukali mo lekhli di.. :clap: