9 lessons in Balance, Love, and Leadership
from a guy who's even busier than you are..

Name: Barack Obama
Occupation: Next president of the United States
The President-Elect reveals what he belives, where he comes from and what he can teach us. Use his advice to advance ur career, health & fitness no matter who u vited for...
Lesson 1: Learn from your father, even if he wasn't a good one
Barack Obama's life story, starting with his father's departure when he was 2 years old, is the equivalent of a doctoral program in abandonment, dislocation, and healing. And the last of these can come about only when you truly come to terms with the first two. As Obama's memoir, Dreams from My Father, makes abundantly clear, he was one twentysomething who took the time to understand exactly what it meant that his father left the family.
"I would like to think that most of the issues related to my father have been resolved," he says, pointedly. "That's part of what writing Dreams from My Father was about: understanding him, his own personal tragedy. He wasn't a presence in my life, he was an idea that I had to wrestle with for a long time.
"Somebody once said that every man is either trying to live up to his dad's expectations or make up for his dad's mistakes. And I'm sure I was doing a little bit of both. But I feel that somewhere in my late 20s or early 30s I sort of figured out what his absence had meant. It is part of what I think has made me a pretty good dad. I don't think it would have too much of an impact on my decision-making as president. There's no doubt that it has contributed to my drive. I might not be here had it not been for that absent father prodding me early in life."

Lesson 2: Be there for your family, even if you're not around
We wondered if his wife, Michelle, and their two children, Malia and Sasha, might join him on the day's trip, to participate in the blow-out-the-candles moment. But Obama had boarded the plane with Secret Service and campaign staffers, not family members. So he himself is something of an absentee father on his big day.
"Yesterday was the birthday celebration," he tells. "We get everything in, just not always on schedule when it's supposed to happen. Yesterday I sat on a lounge chair in a friend's backyard, watching my girls and Michelle dance. It was as nice a moment as I've had in a long time.
"I don't miss the important things. I haven't missed a dance recital. I haven't missed a parent-teacher conference. But there are some things I do miss, and those are some of the tradeoffs you make.
"But, look, there's no question there are sacrifices involved here. I'd like to say that quality time replaces quantity, but sometimes it doesn't. You know, a lot of the best moments of family life happen spontaneously. If you have less time to devote to them, there are fewer of those moments. What I've been able to do is create a zone of normalcy for my kids. Michelle's been wonderful about that. I have been able to transmit to them my absolute interest in them and my absolute love for them."

Lesson 3: Make the future your focus
Another loss in the Obama family: the way a child's life changes in the glare of campaign lights. The senator notes that his daughters were young -- 5 and 8 -- when he had to explain the upheaval that was about to shake their family. He may as well have been talking about his plans to file income taxes. The kids cut to the really important stuff: "Their main concern was, 'When are we going to get a dog?' They did ask about what they called 'secret people,' which were the Secret Service folks. 'Are we going to have to have these people with sunglasses and earpieces following us around all the time?' And I told them, well, not right away. They've adjusted wonderfully. And I've tried to make sure that they haven't had to participate too much in the political process.
"The pledge is" -- he can't help making campaign promises, even to his kids -- "they'll get their dog, win or lose."

Lesson 4: Turn early lessons into big successes
Sarah Palin might not be too impressed with Obama's days as a community organizer, but he built that modest beginning -- putting together coalitions of voters across Chicago -- into the current grass-roots organization that's unlike anything our electoral process has ever seen. It's a classic example of applying a lesson learned on a small scale to the biggest challenge of a lifetime.
Clearly, he knows how to manage groups. By the time your outfit has its own plane, it'd better have a solid pilot.
"I'm part of an organization," he says, "and one of the things I really try to push in the organization is to make sure that everybody is focused on the two or three things that are really going to be game changers. I ask them to design my schedule in a way that focuses not just on what's coming at us, but on being active instead of reactive. I think we've been pretty successful. I don't spend a lot of time returning phone calls or e-mails. If somebody needs something, most of the time there's somebody else who can handle it. Eliminating TV has been helpful." Wait, a confession: "I'm still a ****er for SportsCenter," he notes.
The goal of his organization, he says, is to clear time for job number 1: "The most difficult thing is to carve out time to think, which is probably the most important time for somebody who's trying to shift an organization, or in this case, the country, as opposed to doing the same things that have been done before. And I find that time slips away."
Lesson 5: The government isn't your nursemaid
The organization theme comes up again when I raise a pet peeve of this magazine: That the U.S. government maintains at least seven offices devoted to women's health, but no office of men's health. This despite the fact that men die earlier than women do of heart disease, stroke, and cancer. I'm hoping to enlist him in the battle.
Nothing doing.
"I'm not sure we need an office," he says. "We need to have an awareness built in throughout various agencies charged with improving health. I'll give you a specific example. My grandfather died of prostate cancer. As men age, regular checkups are critical. But it's hard to get them to go in for that mildly unpleasant checkup. Increasing awareness of the difference it could make shouldn't just be the activity of the Department of Health and Human Services."
And then he launches into a story involving a friend of his. It's a theme he returns to again and again as we talk: a world peopled with friends who taught him lessons, reminded him of what was important, reproached him in a useful way.
"A good friend of mine who was the head of the Illinois department of public health designed this wonderful program targeting black men, where health information was provided through barbershops. The idea was that a lot of black men underutilize doctors and don't talk about health much. But they go to the barbershop, and that's where they kind of let loose. The department designed programs where clinics at different barbershops would provide various health screenings, talk about prevention. Those kinds of strategies have to be developed and targeted, perhaps, because a lot of the time we're more resistant to going to doctors. That kind of thinking should be embedded in a lot of the work we're doing."
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