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Every path has its puddle; every life, its suffering.
You may know or be a person in the midst of extreme hardship such
as poverty, illness, pain, loneliness, unemployment, disability,
homelessness, depression, or addiction. What shall we do when
that is our lot? Well, we have three choices. First, we can
struggle, resist, and do everything in our power to escape.
Second, we can accept it. Third, we can embrace it.
The first choice makes sense if our struggle will improve the
situation. Many people, for example, have lifted themselves from
poverty after a long fight. As long as there is a dream, hope,
and faith, anything is possible. Time after time, heroes have
arisen who have fought against impossible odds. They changed what
others believed was meant to be into what could be.
Some of these heroes were born deaf and dumb. Others blind. Still
others, lame. Regardless of their fate, they proved we have
within us the power to overcome any difficulty, the power to
perform miracles, the power to be victorious and glorious. These
heroic men and women were armed with courage, belief, and
determination, tools available to all who call on their inner
resources. But we have to want to change before we can.
A major cause of unhappiness is to resist suffering without
trying to do something about it. That is, some who find
themselves in unfortunate circumstances beat their breasts and
cry out, "Why me? Why is life so unfair?" Such questions do
little to improve the situation. At best, they offer the
complainers the comforting thought that they are not responsible
for their suffering because they are victims. They may be
victims, but not of circumstance. Rather, they are victims of
their own negative thoughts, self-limiting beliefs, and false
ideas.
Instead of complaining, it is far better to ask empowering
questions such as, "What can I do about the situation? What are
my options? What small step can I take now that will improve my
lot? How have others overcome similar problems? What do I need to
do?"
Complaining about suffering without doing something about it
doesn't help. It merely adds to the pain. We are not meant to be
beaten down by life. We are not supposed to give up or surrender
when the going gets tough. Rather, we are meant to get tough and
get going.
At times, however, we encounter a painful situation that cannot
be changed. Death of a loved one is an example. No matter how
courageous we are, we cannot bring the dead back to life. But
what we can do is to accept that death and suffering are both
unavoidable and a part of life. To accept what cannot be changed
is a mark of wisdom, to fight it is folly and a cause of
unhappiness.
The third choice we have when we meet with suffering is to
embrace it. This is a special path. It is the path of warriors,
heroes, and champions. This special breed of men and women use
their pain to understand how others feel and then dedicate
themselves to lessening the suffering of others. Once aware of
how others suffer, they have no time to think about their own
pain.
But most of us are not heroes yet. So, what do we do in the
meantime? The first thing is to realize that regardless of our
situation, there are always others who are worse off or better
off. The second thing we need to understand is we choose what we
focus on. That is, we can focus on those who are better off or
those who are worse off.
Choosing to focus on those who are better off is a formula for
frustration, resentment, envy, and anger. In other words, all it
does is increase our pain. Not very helpful, is it? On the other
hand, when we focus on those who are less fortunate, we
experience gratitude and compassion. If these pleasant feelings
do not completely wash away our suffering, they at least diminish
it. That being so, where should we focus our attention?
To help you answer that question, think about the following words
of Psychotherapist Jennifer Welwood:
Willing to experience aloneness,
I discover connection everywhere;
Turning to face my fear,
I meet the warrior who lives within;
Opening to my loss,
I am given unimaginable gifts;
Surrendering into emptiness,
I find fullness without end.
Each condition I flee from pursues me.
Each condition I welcome transforms me
And becomes itself transformed
Into its radiant jewel-like essence.
I bow to the one who has made it so,
Who has crafted this Master Game;
To play it is pure delight,
To honor it is true devotion.
You may know or be a person in the midst of extreme hardship such
as poverty, illness, pain, loneliness, unemployment, disability,
homelessness, depression, or addiction. What shall we do when
that is our lot? Well, we have three choices. First, we can
struggle, resist, and do everything in our power to escape.
Second, we can accept it. Third, we can embrace it.
The first choice makes sense if our struggle will improve the
situation. Many people, for example, have lifted themselves from
poverty after a long fight. As long as there is a dream, hope,
and faith, anything is possible. Time after time, heroes have
arisen who have fought against impossible odds. They changed what
others believed was meant to be into what could be.
Some of these heroes were born deaf and dumb. Others blind. Still
others, lame. Regardless of their fate, they proved we have
within us the power to overcome any difficulty, the power to
perform miracles, the power to be victorious and glorious. These
heroic men and women were armed with courage, belief, and
determination, tools available to all who call on their inner
resources. But we have to want to change before we can.
A major cause of unhappiness is to resist suffering without
trying to do something about it. That is, some who find
themselves in unfortunate circumstances beat their breasts and
cry out, "Why me? Why is life so unfair?" Such questions do
little to improve the situation. At best, they offer the
complainers the comforting thought that they are not responsible
for their suffering because they are victims. They may be
victims, but not of circumstance. Rather, they are victims of
their own negative thoughts, self-limiting beliefs, and false
ideas.
Instead of complaining, it is far better to ask empowering
questions such as, "What can I do about the situation? What are
my options? What small step can I take now that will improve my
lot? How have others overcome similar problems? What do I need to
do?"
Complaining about suffering without doing something about it
doesn't help. It merely adds to the pain. We are not meant to be
beaten down by life. We are not supposed to give up or surrender
when the going gets tough. Rather, we are meant to get tough and
get going.
At times, however, we encounter a painful situation that cannot
be changed. Death of a loved one is an example. No matter how
courageous we are, we cannot bring the dead back to life. But
what we can do is to accept that death and suffering are both
unavoidable and a part of life. To accept what cannot be changed
is a mark of wisdom, to fight it is folly and a cause of
unhappiness.
The third choice we have when we meet with suffering is to
embrace it. This is a special path. It is the path of warriors,
heroes, and champions. This special breed of men and women use
their pain to understand how others feel and then dedicate
themselves to lessening the suffering of others. Once aware of
how others suffer, they have no time to think about their own
pain.
But most of us are not heroes yet. So, what do we do in the
meantime? The first thing is to realize that regardless of our
situation, there are always others who are worse off or better
off. The second thing we need to understand is we choose what we
focus on. That is, we can focus on those who are better off or
those who are worse off.
Choosing to focus on those who are better off is a formula for
frustration, resentment, envy, and anger. In other words, all it
does is increase our pain. Not very helpful, is it? On the other
hand, when we focus on those who are less fortunate, we
experience gratitude and compassion. If these pleasant feelings
do not completely wash away our suffering, they at least diminish
it. That being so, where should we focus our attention?
To help you answer that question, think about the following words
of Psychotherapist Jennifer Welwood:
Willing to experience aloneness,
I discover connection everywhere;
Turning to face my fear,
I meet the warrior who lives within;
Opening to my loss,
I am given unimaginable gifts;
Surrendering into emptiness,
I find fullness without end.
Each condition I flee from pursues me.
Each condition I welcome transforms me
And becomes itself transformed
Into its radiant jewel-like essence.
I bow to the one who has made it so,
Who has crafted this Master Game;
To play it is pure delight,
To honor it is true devotion.
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