Jokes

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Assalamalikum
Share your favourite jokes here :rose

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Re: Jokes

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.

:D

[Mr.Khan]

Re: Jokes

Walaikum Salaam :)

A joke from my side :D

Before the marriage

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it frombottom to the top!!!! :kr::kr::kr:

[baqarkashmiri]

Re: Jokes

from my side.


A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit.

The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "I'm a panda," he says, at the door.

"Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation...

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."













You will understand the joke if you know that the author play with word "shoot and leave."

The meaning of shoot in the manual means "a part of bamboo" and leaves mean "a green part of tree" but panda misunderstood the meaning.

[Mr.Khan]

Re: Jokes

2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect
a hydride of oxygen whos quantity isn't specified.
1 member descends dramatically suffering mechanically damage
to the cranial part of his anatomical structure. The member follows
the first in the similar series of rapid irregular disturbing movements.

In simple english

Jack & Jill
went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down
& broke his crown
& Jill came tumbling after :khi:

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Re: Jokes

Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
James: You said it was a piece of cake!

[baqarkashmiri]

Re: Jokes

very nice.

[musaddaq]

Re: Jokes

When I was younger I hated going to weddings.

It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,"You are next".

They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. while saying to them "You are next"

[baqarkashmiri]

Re: Jokes

nice

[musaddaq]

Re: Jokes

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck.

"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teet!

[baqarkashmiri]

Re: Jokes

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck.

"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teet!

nice.

[musaddaq]

Re: Jokes

nice.

:)

[musaddaq]

Re: Jokes

Mother: How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

[musaddaq]

Re: Jokes

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"

Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"

Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

[*Hala*]

Re: Jokes

:lol
alll r funy jokez....