Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Unconfigured Ad Widget

Collapse

Funny and the silly at the same time...enjoy

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Funny and the silly at the same time...enjoy

    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
    -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
    -- Eleanor Roosevelt

    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
    -- Mark Twain

    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
    -- George Burns

    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
    -- Victor Borge

    Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
    -- Mark Twain

    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    -- Socrates

    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
    -- Groucho Marx

    My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
    -- Jimmy Durante

    I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
    -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
    -- Alex Levine

    My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
    -- Rodney Dangerfield

    Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
    -- Spike Milligan

    I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
    -- Mark Twain

    Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
    -- Joe Namath

    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
    -- Bob Hope

    I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
    -- W.C. Fields

    We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
    -- Will Rogers

    Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you.
    -- Winston Churchill
    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
    -- Phyllis Diller

    By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
    -- Billy Crystal

    The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
    Mind Sciences

  • #2
    Re: Funny and the silly at the same time...enjoy

    Originally posted by zapk7 View Post
    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
    -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
    -- Eleanor Roosevelt

    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
    -- Mark Twain

    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
    -- George Burns

    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
    -- Victor Borge

    Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
    -- Mark Twain

    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    -- Socrates

    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
    -- Groucho Marx

    My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
    -- Jimmy Durante

    I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
    -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
    -- Alex Levine

    My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
    -- Rodney Dangerfield

    Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
    -- Spike Milligan

    I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
    -- Mark Twain

    Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
    -- Joe Namath

    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
    -- Bob Hope

    I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
    -- W.C. Fields

    We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
    -- Will Rogers

    Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you.
    -- Winston Churchill
    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
    -- Phyllis Diller

    By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
    -- Billy Crystal

    The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
    I enjoyed a lot reading quotes especially red ones....Apart i have already read some of the quotes before.
    :thmbup:

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Funny and the silly at the same time...enjoy

      nice

      :donno:BYE :donno:

      Comment

      Working...
      X