Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

[ghurob-e-aftab]

Salam Doston,,

iss forum par mayri pehli ghazal hazir hai,, goo kay old hai par share kar raha hoon :)


Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad say guzartay daykha
main nay khud ko ghazal main ulahajtay daykha

jaab kabhi tuhj say hat kar likha hai main nay
dil-e-weraan main tuhj ko machaltay daykha

sahab-e-tanhaie main jaab kabhi tayri yaad aaie
main nay lafzoon ko baykhudi main utartay daykha

kitna muskil ya hota hai khizaan ka musaam
jiss main nazuk si kalliyon ko bikhartay daykha

muhabat main faqat ya haal mayra nahi aftab
us ki aankhon say bhi ashkon ko bhatay daykha

[:Qassim:]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

Salam Doston,,

iss forum par mayri pehli ghazal hazir hai,, goo kay old hai par share kar raha hoon :)


Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad say guzartay daykha
main nay khud ko ghazal main ulahajtay daykha

jaab kabhi tuhj say hat kar likha hai main nay
dil-e-weraan main tuhj ko machaltay daykha

sahab-e-tanhaie main jaab kabhi tayri yaad aaie
main nay lafzoon ko baykhudi main utartay daykha

kitna muskil ya hota hai khizaan ka musaam
jiss main nazuk si kalliyon ko bikhartay daykha

muhabat main faqat ya haal mayra nahi aftab
us ki aankhon say bhi ashkon ko bhatay daykha

Salaam

Aftab bhai aapki taraf se ghazal pehlii martaba paRhnay ko milii hai ... Dil bohot khuSh huvaa paRh.ker ... Bohot achchhe khayaalaat ko baandha hai ghazal meN ...

Shayad meN apne ja'izay meN ghalat bhii ho sakta hooN ... Laikin jo aik baat mujhay ghazal meN nazar aa'ee hai socha k aap ko bhii bataataa chalooN ... Kehtay haiN naa k illm baaNTnay se hii baRhta hai :eye:

ASh'aar paRhtay waqt meN zabaan aTak rahii thii ... Kehna yeh chaah raha hooN k mujhay aisa lag raha hai k sher wazan meN naheiN haiN :emb:

As I said before, I might be wrong ... Jitna kuch maiN ne seekha hai wazan aur beher k mutaa'liq uss lihaaz se mujhay sher beher se khaarij nazar aa rahay haiN ... This is my personal observation, I mean no offence to you!

Umeed hai aap merii baat ka bura naheiN maanaiNgay:phool:

Qassim Mirza :Qassim:

[Yaaram]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

khayalat bohat ache hain lekan chand aik ashaar wazan main nahi.........lekan likhte rehya rawani aa jaye gi

[ghurob-e-aftab]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

Salaam

Aftab bhai aapki taraf se ghazal pehlii martaba paRhnay ko milii hai ... Dil bohot khuSh huvaa paRh.ker ... Bohot achchhe khayaalaat ko baandha hai ghazal meN ...

Shayad meN apne ja'izay meN ghalat bhii ho sakta hooN ... Laikin jo aik baat mujhay ghazal meN nazar aa'ee hai socha k aap ko bhii bataataa chalooN ... Kehtay haiN naa k illm baaNTnay se hii baRhta hai :eye:

ASh'aar paRhtay waqt meN zabaan aTak rahii thii ... Kehna yeh chaah raha hooN k mujhay aisa lag raha hai k sher wazan meN naheiN haiN :emb:

As I said before, I might be wrong ... Jitna kuch maiN ne seekha hai wazan aur beher k mutaa'liq uss lihaaz se mujhay sher beher se khaarij nazar aa rahay haiN ... This is my personal observation, I mean no offence to you!

Umeed hai aap merii baat ka bura naheiN maanaiNgay:phool:

Qassim Mirza :Qassim:

W/salam

janab qasim bahi ,, buhat shukriya kay app nay mairay khayaalaat ko pasand kiya :) ,, janab ya ghazal bilkul app nay theek kaha kay beher say khaarij hai ,, or iss par kafi taweel behaas bhi hoo chuki hai ,, ghazal ko us ki asal haalat main yahan post karnay ka ju mayra maqsaad tha woo pura howa :).. InshaAllah buhat jald iss ghazal ka new version bhi yahan post karon ga ..

buhat khush rahoo :)

[ghurob-e-aftab]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

khayalat bohat ache hain lekan chand aik ashaar wazan main nahi.........lekan likhte rehya rawani aa jaye gi

Buhat nawazish .. :rose

khush rahoo :)

[Bheegi-Palkain]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

muhabat main faqat ya haal mayra nahi aftab
us ki aankhon say bhi ashkon ko bhatay daykha

Asslam-o-Alikum WR WB

bhot umda

FeaamnAllah

[muskaan]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

kitna muskil ya hota hai khizaan ka musaam
jiss main nazuk si kalliyon ko bikhartay daykha

welcome aftab :) shukar hai aap nai share to kiya aur ghazal aap ki bauhat khubsurat hai :)

khush rahiyai :)

[withlove]

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad say guzartay daykha
main nay khud ko ghazal main ulahajtay daykha

jaab kabhi tuhj say hat kar likha hai main nay
dil-e-weraan main tuhj ko machaltay daykha

Baad mudaat aap ko parha... bohat hi acha lagga.. ghazal ke her shair main nayee soch ki khushboo hai .. Bohat khoob andaaz hai .. Bohat Shukria.. :rose

wafa aur dua ke saath
withlove :rose

['SamRazi']

Re: Jaab kabhi ghaam ko haad....

Salam Doston,,



muhabat main faqat ya haal mayra nahi aftab
us ki aankhon say bhi ashkon ko bhatay daykha

Buhut khoob likha hai dear, last shair buhut pasand aaya :thmbup:


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