& Shair Mukamal kijiye %

['SamRazi']

Assalam-o-Alaikum

Aaj ek naya silsila shuroo kerne ja rahi hoon baunwan "Shair Mukamal Kijiye". Tareeqa yeh hai ke ek member koi ek shair post karey jis ka ek misra (ephla yaan dosra) mukamal ho aur ek misra kuch namukal. Jis member wo ko shair maloom ho ousey mukamal ker dai aur issi tarah silsila jari rakhtey huwey agla shair likhey. Umeed hai samajh aa gaya ho ga :)


Ab main ek shair se shuroo kerti hoon :eye:



Aye Bad-e-saba kuch tou ne suna' Mehman jo aaney walay hain
Kalian na bichana raho'n main hum ..........................



Ab agla member issey mukamal kerne ke sath naya (na-mukamal) shair post karey :rose

[Muhammad Khalil]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

aap ka shar to mujy nahi aata
lakin ager hu saky to mera mukamal ker dain Iqbal ka hay


last yeh hay


Karwan k dil sy ehsas-e-ziyan jata raha.

[Masood]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

aap ka shar to mujy nahi aata
lakin ager hu saky to mera mukamal ker dain Iqbal ka hay


last yeh hay


Karwan k dil sy ehsas-e-ziyan jata raha.

NAHIN KHALIL RULES KEY MUTABIQ CHALNA HAI - PEHLEY SAIMA KA DIYA HUWA SHAIR MUKAMIL KARNA HAI PHIR MUKAMIL KARNEY WALA APNA SHAIR LIKH SAKTA HAI :)

[Yaaram]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

acha silsila hay main mukamal to nahi janta saima lekan shayd aaye ga
Kalyan na bichana rahoN main hum zulfein bichane wale hian
yeh galat bhi ho sakta hay ?

['SamRazi']

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

acha silsila hay main mukamal to nahi janta saima lekan shayd aaye ga
Kalyan na bichana rahoN main hum zulfein bichane wale hian
yeh galat bhi ho sakta hay ?

Kaliyon ki jaga koi dosra Lafz hai Yaram :)

['SamRazi']

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

aap ka shar to mujy nahi aata
lakin ager hu saky to mera mukamal ker dain Iqbal ka hay


last yeh hay


Karwan k dil sy ehsas-e-ziyan jata raha.

Pehley mera shair mukamal kero :hathora

[eman]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

Saima je main aap ka shar mukamaal karti hoon sahi na hoa to pleeeez marna mat

Aye bad-e-saba kuch tou na suna 'mehmaan jo aaney walay hain
Kalian na bichana rahoon main ham palkain bichanay walay hain

['SamRazi']

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

Saima je main aap ka shar mukamaal karti hoon sahi na hoa to pleeeez marna mat

Aye bad-e-saba kuch tou na suna 'mehmaan jo aaney walay hain
Kalian na bichana rahoon main ham palkain bichanay walay hain

Nahi dear tumhein nahi maroon gi :) , khl ne rules ke khilaf bina shair mukamal kiyeh dosra post ker diya is liyeh marr pari.

Kher aap ne "Palkein" kaha to woh sahi nahi hai dear , palko'n se bhi zada nazuk chiz ager koi hai to wo "Aankhein hain " to shair is tarah se hai

Aye bad-e-saba kuch tou ne suna mehmaan jo aaney waley hain
Kalian na bichana raho'n main hum Aankhein bichaney waley hain

Chlao dear agla shair tum pooch lo, aur ek kam kero shair likho magar ous main bas ek yaan do lafz adhourey chorna, poora misra nahi :)

[eman]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

SHAIR MUKAMAAL KARAIN

Ajab tha jurm-e-mohabaat k jis pa dil na maray
Saza bhe pae nahin

[Muhammad Khalil]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

NAHIN KHALIL RULES KEY MUTABIQ CHALNA HAI - PEHLEY SAIMA KA DIYA HUWA SHAIR MUKAMIL KARNA HAI PHIR MUKAMIL KARNEY WALA APNA SHAIR LIKH SAKTA HAI :)

ok
G per mujy bata hee dain k yeh kaisy mukamal huta hay coz k mujy zarorat hay:wave

['SamRazi']

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

SHAIR MUKAMAAL KARAIN

Ajab tha jurm-e-mohabaat k jis pa dil na maray
Saza bhe pae nahin

mujhe nahi pata dear, aur shayed kisi ko nahi aata....khudh hi btaa do :)

[eman]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

Ajab tha jurm-e-mohabaat k jis pa dil na maray
Saza bhe pae nahin aor muaaf bhe na hoa

main na khudh hi mukamaal kar dia hay
ab next koi bhe likh da

[Muhammad Khalil]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

wo mera hu ker b muj sy mehroom raha.............

['SamRazi']

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

Ab yeh mukamal kijiye, main is mei sirf ek lafz chor rahi hoon,


" Jo Yeh poocha ke mujhe per pathar kon outhayeh ga
Aayi yeh aawza ke jo tera ................... kehlayeh ga "

[Muhammad Khalil]

Re: & Shair Mukamal kijiye %

pehly mera to kero G