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Do the right things and the right things will happen
Life is not meant to be complicated. It is straightforward. It's
simply a matter of doing the right things. And when we do so, the
right things will happen. The reward for doing the right things
is success, happiness, and fulfillment. But when we do the wrong
things, we reap failure, misery, and regret. So, what are the
wrong things? The list below is enough to get you started. After
going through it, you will quickly think of other things to add
to the list. Just think of the right things as the things that
work, and the wrong things as the things (actions) that don't
work. If what you are doing is bringing you closer to your goals
and dreams, you are doing the right things. On the other hand, if
success is no where in sight, you are unhappy, and you are
feeling frustrated, they are signs that you are doing the wrong
things. Now is a good time to take stock of your actions and ask
yourself whether you're doing the right or wrong things.
THE WRONG THINGS:
1. Denial. The first step in overcoming a problem is to admit
that we have one. Most of us are imperfect and have a problem or
two in one or more areas of life. Here's a simple test. If you're
unhappy, you're doing something wrong. If that describes you, try
to find out what you are doing wrong and correct the situation.
2. Unwilling to work at it. I have heard many people say, "Self-
help books and self-improvement programs don't work for me." Then
I have to explain, "Self-help books and programs are not supposed
to work, YOU are supposed to work! Just carry out the exercises
you have learned and practice them for 15 ~ 20 minutes a day. If
you were to do so, it is impossible not to improve." How do they
know the books and programs don't work when they don't practice
what is taught?
3. Looking for the easy way instead of the right way. The only
short cut to success is hard work. Hard work may not come
naturally, but we have the capacity to develop self-discipline,
which is an essential skill. Self-discipline is nothing less than
the freedom to reach our dreams. When viewed in that light, its
importance should become clear.
4. Ignoring the warning signs. Unhappiness and the failure to
reach our goals are warning signs. The pain brought on by these
predicaments is life's way of screaming at us, "What you are
doing isn't working. Try doing things differently." Yet, rather
than heed the warning signs, some prefer to blame their problems
on "bad luck." Others claim they are victims of circumstances or
fate. The reality is they are victims of their own negative
thoughts and beliefs. How much better it is to be the beneficiary
of one's own positive thoughts.
5. Failure to plan. When we fail to plan, we plan to fail. We
can't just wait for things to happen. We have to make them
happen. And we do so by carefully planning and taking the
appropriate steps. It's time to stop brooding and whining and
start planning for success. It's time to ask ourselves, "What do
I want? Why do I want it? Why don't I already have what I want?
What am I doing wrong? What steps do I have to take and in what
order? When will I begin? What obstacles am I likely to encounter
and how will I overcome them?"
6. Failure to take responsibility. What happens to us is the
results of our own actions or inaction. We can blame others or
circumstances if we want, but that doesn't help at all. Rather
than do something about their problems, some stand around waiting
to be rescued by others. They wait for a knight in shining armor
to save them, but they wait in vain. Far better to depend on
yourself.
7. Trying to do as little as possible instead of as much as
possible. Some avoid work as if it were a disease. But when we do
as little as possible, we learn and progress as little as
possible. This leads to frustration, stress, loss of energy, and
less ambition. In other words, we find ourselves in a downward
spiral. But when we work as much as possible, we make rapid
progress, experience pride, self-respect, and the joy of reaping
the rewards that follow a job well done.
8. Failure to apply what we learn. A meal provides no nutrients
unless we eat it. Similarly, books, articles, and advice provide
no help unless we integrate into our lives what we've learned.
Neglecting to apply what we've learned is the same as not
learning it.
9. Failure to regularly monitor one's progress. How can we
correct our course unless we know where we're going? We need to
regularly survey our progress. Are we on course or are we
drifting off course? Why leave things to chance when we can
monitor our results and make corrections as needed? Also,
discovering our mistakes early allows us to learn from them and
to nip failure in the bud.
10. Giving up too early. Temporary setbacks become failures only
if we stop in our tracks. But if we make it our policy to refuse
to give up until we reach our destination, we'll never fail.
11. Failure to get along with others. Some believe they live in a
hostile world, so they act in a hostile manner, alienating
others. But those who believe they live in a friendly world trust
and support others. As a consequence, they receive trust and
support from everyone they deal with. What is your opinion? Do
you believe you live in a friendly or hostile world? It doesn't
matter whether your opinion is right or wrong. What matters is
whether your opinion works for you or not. Positive thinkers
believe we live in a friendly world, so they get along with
others and become successful. In a word, what they are doing
works.
12. Failure to be flexible and adaptable. We can tell life where
we want to go and what we want to do, but it may have better
plans for us, so we have to be willing to change our route to
success. If we remain inflexible, stubbornly sticking to a
personal goal, we may not recognize a golden opportunity when it
appears. For example, I may decide I want to become a famous
writer, but life may want me to become a great teacher. As long
as I remain flexible, when a teaching opportunity arrives, I will
be able to consider it. Besides, my ultimate goal is for success,
and either writing or teaching can get me there.
13. A belief that they already know it all or know more than
others. When we think we know more than others, we're not
interested in hearing what they have to say and grow deaf to the
wisdom offered by others in casual conversations. To benefit the
most from life, not only should we carefully listen to what
others have to say, but we should be willing to be changed by
what we hear. On several occasions, my life was dramatically
changed by the words of ordinary people.
14. Lack of commitment. A dream without commitment is no more
than a wish. But when we are committed, we are willing to do
whatever it takes to succeed. We may have to reach deep, down
inside to find it, but commitment is part of the inner resources
of all. Just as we may be unaware of vast reserves of oil lying
beneath the soil we stand on, many are ignorant of their reserves
of commitment. All we have to do is drill down to tap into it,
and once it gushes forth, there won't be anything we cannot do!
15. Looking backward instead of forward. True, some of us were
dealt nasty blows in the past. Insurmountable obstacles may have
blocked our way. But that was the past. Now it is time to move
forward. It is time to plan and prepare for the future. It is
time to focus on what we want instead of what we don't want; time
to focus on what we have instead of what we lack, and time to
focus on solutions instead of excuses.
Your life is a precious gift. What do you plan to do with it? You
won't have to worry if you do the right things, for then the
right things will happen to you.
By Chuck Gallozzi
Life is not meant to be complicated. It is straightforward. It's
simply a matter of doing the right things. And when we do so, the
right things will happen. The reward for doing the right things
is success, happiness, and fulfillment. But when we do the wrong
things, we reap failure, misery, and regret. So, what are the
wrong things? The list below is enough to get you started. After
going through it, you will quickly think of other things to add
to the list. Just think of the right things as the things that
work, and the wrong things as the things (actions) that don't
work. If what you are doing is bringing you closer to your goals
and dreams, you are doing the right things. On the other hand, if
success is no where in sight, you are unhappy, and you are
feeling frustrated, they are signs that you are doing the wrong
things. Now is a good time to take stock of your actions and ask
yourself whether you're doing the right or wrong things.
THE WRONG THINGS:
1. Denial. The first step in overcoming a problem is to admit
that we have one. Most of us are imperfect and have a problem or
two in one or more areas of life. Here's a simple test. If you're
unhappy, you're doing something wrong. If that describes you, try
to find out what you are doing wrong and correct the situation.
2. Unwilling to work at it. I have heard many people say, "Self-
help books and self-improvement programs don't work for me." Then
I have to explain, "Self-help books and programs are not supposed
to work, YOU are supposed to work! Just carry out the exercises
you have learned and practice them for 15 ~ 20 minutes a day. If
you were to do so, it is impossible not to improve." How do they
know the books and programs don't work when they don't practice
what is taught?
3. Looking for the easy way instead of the right way. The only
short cut to success is hard work. Hard work may not come
naturally, but we have the capacity to develop self-discipline,
which is an essential skill. Self-discipline is nothing less than
the freedom to reach our dreams. When viewed in that light, its
importance should become clear.
4. Ignoring the warning signs. Unhappiness and the failure to
reach our goals are warning signs. The pain brought on by these
predicaments is life's way of screaming at us, "What you are
doing isn't working. Try doing things differently." Yet, rather
than heed the warning signs, some prefer to blame their problems
on "bad luck." Others claim they are victims of circumstances or
fate. The reality is they are victims of their own negative
thoughts and beliefs. How much better it is to be the beneficiary
of one's own positive thoughts.
5. Failure to plan. When we fail to plan, we plan to fail. We
can't just wait for things to happen. We have to make them
happen. And we do so by carefully planning and taking the
appropriate steps. It's time to stop brooding and whining and
start planning for success. It's time to ask ourselves, "What do
I want? Why do I want it? Why don't I already have what I want?
What am I doing wrong? What steps do I have to take and in what
order? When will I begin? What obstacles am I likely to encounter
and how will I overcome them?"
6. Failure to take responsibility. What happens to us is the
results of our own actions or inaction. We can blame others or
circumstances if we want, but that doesn't help at all. Rather
than do something about their problems, some stand around waiting
to be rescued by others. They wait for a knight in shining armor
to save them, but they wait in vain. Far better to depend on
yourself.
7. Trying to do as little as possible instead of as much as
possible. Some avoid work as if it were a disease. But when we do
as little as possible, we learn and progress as little as
possible. This leads to frustration, stress, loss of energy, and
less ambition. In other words, we find ourselves in a downward
spiral. But when we work as much as possible, we make rapid
progress, experience pride, self-respect, and the joy of reaping
the rewards that follow a job well done.
8. Failure to apply what we learn. A meal provides no nutrients
unless we eat it. Similarly, books, articles, and advice provide
no help unless we integrate into our lives what we've learned.
Neglecting to apply what we've learned is the same as not
learning it.
9. Failure to regularly monitor one's progress. How can we
correct our course unless we know where we're going? We need to
regularly survey our progress. Are we on course or are we
drifting off course? Why leave things to chance when we can
monitor our results and make corrections as needed? Also,
discovering our mistakes early allows us to learn from them and
to nip failure in the bud.
10. Giving up too early. Temporary setbacks become failures only
if we stop in our tracks. But if we make it our policy to refuse
to give up until we reach our destination, we'll never fail.
11. Failure to get along with others. Some believe they live in a
hostile world, so they act in a hostile manner, alienating
others. But those who believe they live in a friendly world trust
and support others. As a consequence, they receive trust and
support from everyone they deal with. What is your opinion? Do
you believe you live in a friendly or hostile world? It doesn't
matter whether your opinion is right or wrong. What matters is
whether your opinion works for you or not. Positive thinkers
believe we live in a friendly world, so they get along with
others and become successful. In a word, what they are doing
works.
12. Failure to be flexible and adaptable. We can tell life where
we want to go and what we want to do, but it may have better
plans for us, so we have to be willing to change our route to
success. If we remain inflexible, stubbornly sticking to a
personal goal, we may not recognize a golden opportunity when it
appears. For example, I may decide I want to become a famous
writer, but life may want me to become a great teacher. As long
as I remain flexible, when a teaching opportunity arrives, I will
be able to consider it. Besides, my ultimate goal is for success,
and either writing or teaching can get me there.
13. A belief that they already know it all or know more than
others. When we think we know more than others, we're not
interested in hearing what they have to say and grow deaf to the
wisdom offered by others in casual conversations. To benefit the
most from life, not only should we carefully listen to what
others have to say, but we should be willing to be changed by
what we hear. On several occasions, my life was dramatically
changed by the words of ordinary people.
14. Lack of commitment. A dream without commitment is no more
than a wish. But when we are committed, we are willing to do
whatever it takes to succeed. We may have to reach deep, down
inside to find it, but commitment is part of the inner resources
of all. Just as we may be unaware of vast reserves of oil lying
beneath the soil we stand on, many are ignorant of their reserves
of commitment. All we have to do is drill down to tap into it,
and once it gushes forth, there won't be anything we cannot do!
15. Looking backward instead of forward. True, some of us were
dealt nasty blows in the past. Insurmountable obstacles may have
blocked our way. But that was the past. Now it is time to move
forward. It is time to plan and prepare for the future. It is
time to focus on what we want instead of what we don't want; time
to focus on what we have instead of what we lack, and time to
focus on solutions instead of excuses.
Your life is a precious gift. What do you plan to do with it? You
won't have to worry if you do the right things, for then the
right things will happen to you.
By Chuck Gallozzi
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