Tweet
EMIRATES ID
Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut May I have your...'
Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator: 'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'
Customer: 'It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'
Operator: 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from Naser Square, Deira, Dubai. Your home number is 04-2254821, your office 04-3480536 and your mobile is 050-9923487. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'
Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'
Operator: 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'
Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator: 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is AED 67.00'
Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator: 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator: 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator: 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'
Customer: 'What!'
Operator: 'According to the details in system, you own a Scooter...registration number 1123...'
Customer: '?'
Operator: 'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator: 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator: 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'
Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut May I have your...'
Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator: 'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'
Customer: 'It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'
Operator: 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from Naser Square, Deira, Dubai. Your home number is 04-2254821, your office 04-3480536 and your mobile is 050-9923487. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'
Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'
Operator: 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'
Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator: 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is AED 67.00'
Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator: 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator: 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator: 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'
Customer: 'What!'
Operator: 'According to the details in system, you own a Scooter...registration number 1123...'
Customer: '?'
Operator: 'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator: 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator: 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'
Comment