Microsoft Fun

[Masood]

Microsoft Fun

Also known as...

• Mickeysoft - in reference to Disney's Mickey Mouse
• Micro$oft - obvious, really
• Microsloth
• Mightgosoft
• Mafiasoft
• Selfish greedy stifle-all-innovation megalomaniacal b*stards

Other names for Windows

• Windross
• Windoze
• Sh*t

Other names for MS-DOS

• Messy-DOS

Toddler Property Law

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.
9. If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine.
10. If I ... Whoops! Sorry! I goofed! Instead of reading the Toddler Property Laws, I've been reading Microsoft's Business Plan.

A very old story...

I don't know who wrote this particular version, but they probably meant "Apple" and not "Mackintosh" (sic)...

At a recent COMDEX computer conference, Bill Gates (of Microsoft) compared the motor industry with the computer industry, and stated:

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we'd all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that get 1000 miles to a gallon.

In response, GM issued the following statement:

If GM had developed its technology like Microsoft, we'd all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

• For no good reason, your car would crash twice a day.
• Every time the white lines on the road are repainted, you would need to buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway, for no good reason. You just accept this, restart, and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a particularly complex manoeuvre, such as a left turn, your car would shutdown and refuse to restart. You would then have to reinstall the engine.
• Only one person at a time would be able to use your car, unless you bought Car 95 or Car NT, but then you would have to buy more seats.
• Mackintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was totally reliable, five times faster, much easier to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads.
• All individual warning lights would be replaced by a single 'General Protection Fault' light.
• The airbag would ask "Are you sure?" before activating.
• GM would require all drivers to buy a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even although they neither need them or want them. Attempting to delete this option would cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. (NOTE: Rand McNally is a GM subsidiary company).
• Every time GM introduced a new car, buyers would have to learn to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same way as in their old cars.
• You would have to press the "Start" button to switch off the engine.

Now where do you want to go today.......?

[baqarkashmiri]

Re: Microsoft Fun

nice janab

[Pakiza]

Re: Microsoft Fun

:kr: