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Asalaamoalikum,
Some of the best selected jokes from the net
Pakistani in NASA
This is the story of a Pakistani Scientist, who is a Mechanical Engineer from NED and a PHD from Florida Institute of Technology.)
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important Space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked And double checked everything to make sure That things are fine.
However, on the day of its launch, something seemed to Be wrong.
The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never Took off even an inch from the ground.
The engineers were puzzled because they could not Figure out the problem.
Finally, there was a Pakistani scientist (the one who Is mentioned
above) he offered the help. NASA people Were desperate by that time and agreed to do Anything.
Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the left said the Pakistani scientist.
The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. Bring It back to vertical position the Pakistani said.
The engineers did so . Now start the engines he Said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into Outer space!
Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied -
Its very simple. This is what we always do with our CD 70 motor bike in Pakistan
What is confidence????
A hypothetical situation where 20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse. One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off." That is called Confidence!!!
customer care in 2020
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold.......... on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much
will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ?"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
diabetic....... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^ <:#$$%5E%&$@$%%5E>
Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1997 you
were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
Customer: [Faints]
Some of the best selected jokes from the net
Pakistani in NASA
This is the story of a Pakistani Scientist, who is a Mechanical Engineer from NED and a PHD from Florida Institute of Technology.)
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important Space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked And double checked everything to make sure That things are fine.
However, on the day of its launch, something seemed to Be wrong.
The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never Took off even an inch from the ground.
The engineers were puzzled because they could not Figure out the problem.
Finally, there was a Pakistani scientist (the one who Is mentioned
above) he offered the help. NASA people Were desperate by that time and agreed to do Anything.
Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the left said the Pakistani scientist.
The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. Bring It back to vertical position the Pakistani said.
The engineers did so . Now start the engines he Said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into Outer space!
Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied -
Its very simple. This is what we always do with our CD 70 motor bike in Pakistan
What is confidence????
A hypothetical situation where 20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse. One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off." That is called Confidence!!!
customer care in 2020
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold.......... on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much
will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ?"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
diabetic....... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^ <:#$$%5E%&$@$%%5E>
Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1997 you
were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
Customer: [Faints]
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